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“I think that social networking is the digital version of being introduced by friends.” For most of the 20 century, friend-based introductions were the primary way people met their spouse, he says, and social networks may simply be an extension of that pattern.

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Online today

In 2012 it was worth around billion and shows no sign of slowing down.

There are a bucketload of online dating apps, from new players to household names like Plenty Of Fish, and Ok Cupid.

Nobody teaches effective email techniques based on actual research. My theory is because it’s easiest – it’s what comes naturally to you. Please, please, please consider going out with me.” For example, if someone says in his profile that he likes Costa Rica, you think about all the things you know about Costa Rica and search your brain for a humorous angle.

The closest anybody gets is Ok Cupid – and all they do is give you test results – approximately 27% of people respond to first emails, overall – they don’t show you HOW to write great first emails. You have a great smile and I think we have a lot in common, too. So you don’t put much thought into it, and, not surprisingly, it doesn’t get very good results. There’s nothing funny, interesting, compelling, or different about such an email. Something other than, “I’ve heard it’s beautiful there! ” Personally, I don’t know ANYTHING about Costa Rica, but I do know that all of my left-wing, liberal, neo-hippie friends go on yoga retreats there. I don’t know anything about Costa Rica; I think it’s in the Caribbean or Central America or something like that.

So if you’ve been frustrated with your results in online dating (and one look at the comments below indicates that you ARE), there are a number of things you can do differently to get different results. Plus, it compliments the recipient too much – as if Chris is just praying that he/she is good enough for Pat102. Literally, the only reason I’ve even heard of Costa Rica is because of yoga. All I know is that all of my left-wing yoga friends go on week-long retreats there every year.

One of the most powerful ones has to do with writing first emails. No wonder Pat doesn’t respond to this display of weakness. Which makes me wonder: what does it look like when you fly in at the airport?

The ability to separate your message in their inbox from the countless others is what’s ultimately going to make you successful.

Similarly, it’s starting to get pretty crowded in the dating app world.

Anyone who’s downloaded a dating app has gotten the vanilla “Hey” or “What’s up? These types of messages exhibit zero originality and communicate absolutely nothing about the sender. When you’re sending marketing emails, there’s other people vying for the business of your prospects too. They’re free to send as many messages as they want and technology has made it easier to reach prospects.

Earlier this year I tried my hand at email marketing here at Discover Org. After all, you’re just dropping some buzzwords into a few compelling sentences, right? Not only was writing a good, short, email message to prospects difficult – it felt familiar. You may not immediately connect the dots between agonizing over email language and choosing which witty line to use on Tinder.

Where had I felt this severe frustration in writing a really convincing AND brief message? Well, unless you’ve spent way too much time doing both of these things (like me). My colleague, Steve Waters, penned an article last year on, “How Prospecting is Like Online Dating: 5 Mistakes Online Daters Can Teach Salespeople.” As a sales guy, Steve talks about getting on the phone, listening, and sharing.

As you may know, before I became a dating coach, I was a prolific online dater. Site are just big boxes of single people who are trying to meet each other. If you’ve ever received an email like this, you know it sucks.

I tried every site around, starting in the late 90’s. Nobody shows them how to come up with clever usernames. Nobody illustrates how to create a unique, compelling online dating profile. But then why do you also WRITE emails like this as well?